Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Dating on Line

I posted this photo of me. I hope nobody notices
that there's a hand growing out of my shoulder.

I went and did it. Yes. I joined TWO dating services, eharmony.com and Plentyof fish.com. Filling out the questionnaire made me come face to face with the fact that I have no interests. I have no hobbies unless you count shopping, reading, watching TV and opening the mail.

I do zero physical activities except for the dancing lessons and I hesitate to make too big a deal out of that because the lower the expectations the better. My teacher, Rainer told me I started in Kindergarten and now 8 months later I'm in 8th grade.

It's progress, but I'm limited to the Hustle and the Fox Trot and I need someone not only to lead me, but to place me. Or, better yet, RE-place me. I'll just sit it out and watch.

Not to be labeled superficial I didn't circle the highest number when asked "How important are looks to you?" I circled the next to highest so I wouldn't be matched with the guy in the deli who has one tooth.

This was a huge mistake. I should have insisted my match have a good set of dentures. E-harmony paired me with extremely odd looking men. This was discouraging. At this service they match you with who they think you'd like based on what you write.

For age I put down for 54-62 and click - a match with Ken from Freeport - Aged 60, a widower for almost ten years. Very good looking photo, gray hair and mustache, sweet smile and broad shoulders. He said he was 5'7" and I happen to like shorter men - anyone over 5'10 is just unnecessary extra height. But, I'm thinking if he wrote 5'7 he could be a midget.

We talked on the phone. It went smoothly. Gene, my ex-bereavement shrink told me when I begin to go out with men I will be emotionally back to the age before I married Jimmy. Not true. I've still lived in the world all these years. I kinda sorta almost know how to talk to a man without being uptight or slutty...a balance is the answer...I think. Okay...perhaps Gene had a point.

We met for lunch. He told the truth about his height. However, his photo was so old it may have been from his Bar Mitzvah album. The photo was a good (or bad) 8 years old. A lot happens to a face in 8 years, trust me.

A pleasant lunch. He asked me out again. I said something like 'uh, um, well, humph...' He understood. He suggested I call him if I change my mind. I offered to pay half. Happily, he said no.

On plenty of fish the questionnaire is not as intense and you get to "shop" for your match. They
select a group of men that might be a good "catch" but you can look at any one's profile and photo. It keeps you very busy, this site.

Several men were interesting and good looking and many sent me a message. I've corresponded with a few and not sure about giving out my phone number. Then, if I call them...they have it in their phone. Tricky.

It's strange, but I always played this game with myself: I would observe Jimmy from across a table or at the other end of a room and I'd ask myself: If I didn't know him would I want to get to know him? My answer was always yes. I wonder if eharmony would have paired us.

Anyway, just for the record and just to brag many men like older women. Hector at 23 was not as unusual as I thought. Gee...a baby of 26 was very persistant yesterday and today a young guy of 37. Put their ages together and I've got a match.