Granted, I haven't been out in the world for very long as a single woman, but I have been out in the world period. When Gene, my ex-bereavement shrink told me:
"Now, Carol, when you begin dating you will be emotionally at the age you were before
you were married."
I knew then that SHE needed a shrink. Come on. I was 15 when Jimmy and I met. I know I'm a bit on the immature side (I like to think "Playful") but 15?
Even with my limited dating experience I know I'm emotionally right on track for my age - which TODAY is exactly 58 and a half. Please, no cards or letters for my half birthday...
Yesterday I called a man from the dating site plenty of fish (good name, isn't it?) and our conversation PROVED to me that I am far more mature than 15.
He is a widower for almost 2 years and he's 54 years old. I printed out his profile and had it in front of me to give him the phony impression that I cared enough to remember his "fun facts."
Somehow, though, reading it I reversed his age and his height. I thought he was 57 years old and 5'4" tall. (or in this case 'short')
In my mind I was telling myself "Oh, my God - I'm talking to a midget. I like short men, but I don't want to be able to balance a drink on his head."
He was extremely chatty so he didn't notice I wasn't contributing a fake interest, like "Oh, really? I, too, need coffee in the morning to wake up. We have so much in common!"
When I realized that he wasn't a midget I told him my mistake and he didn't laugh. Could this be a RED flag? Oh, dear - or worse...maybe I AM immature! So what? Jimmy would have giggled...the big baby.
Anyway, he told me he had a "soft spot" (Viagra should cure that) for widows because he is a widower himself. However, he went on to tell me about all the "crazy widows" he's met (good empathy) and one he called a "disgruntled widow."
This woman's husband left her for another woman and then about a year later he died. We both wondered if that counted. Technically, I suppose it does although if Jimmy had left me for someone else we would have been divorced before the year was up.
And, here is the compliment that makes me believe that I am not as immature as Gene says I am. This man, with relief in his voice announced "You sound like a normal person."
There you have it. It's best we don't meet. He may change his mind.
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