Wednesday, July 08, 2009

My Widow Advice #22 A Lesbian Lesson

Dear PWM,

I've got one for you, Carol. I think I'm a lesbian. 27 years married and I am thinking about approaching this beautiful, sexy woman (who I am almost positive is gay) at my gym. This never crossed my mind in the past, but when I see this gorgeous creature work out and get sweaty, I get a tingle that I haven't had since my honeymoon.

My husband, John is dead 7 years now. Good marriage and the sex was fine. I have been out with a few men, but nothing sexual has transpired. I guess I didn't give off that "Come screw me
aura" that men look for, or at least I think they look for. Maybe, I just wasn't interested. I don't know.

But, this woman at the gym keeps smiling like she knows something and I'm about to find out. I guess my question is what the hell is going on in my 49 year old body AND mind? Have I switched gears without any thought process involved? I am confused, but I am also telling
myself, why not?

John Would Die All Over Again,
Stephanie

Dear John Would Die All Over Again, Stephanie,

First of all, I don't believe that sexual thoughts about women have never crossed your mind. Come on, Stephanie. If you're going to write to me, be straight with me (as in open and honest, of course)

You watch a "gorgeous creature get sweaty and you get a tingle?" Oh, pleeze. You're 49 years old. Surely (or Shirley) you've been turned on by women before. Our sexual preference isn't something we suddenly switch. It's not like the restaurant is out of minestrone soup so we order the lobster bisque.

Changing teams sometimes happens when you fall in love with your best friend - that I concede.
Sexuality for women is tied up with emotional fulfillment and if she's more "there for you" than your hubby that can lead to a physical involvement. But, this is not what you are professing.

You're not sending out the "come screw me aura" to men because you're too busy fantasizing about the ladies. You're not interested just like you weren't genuinely interested in your husband. Most likely you fell into a comfortable sex life with a man that left you lukewarm.

Go and have a hot time - be a lesbian - be who you were all along and hopefully John is up there
looking the other way.

PWM,
Carol