Saturday, September 19, 2009

My Widow Advice #29 This Widow is Clonely!

Dear Carol,

I am going to ask my dead husband's twin brother to have sex with me.  Just one time.
I'm not a big fan of his wife, my sister-in-law, so on that level I don't feel disloyal. 

I think my husband would understand.  I miss him so much.  I ache to hold him again.

How awful on a scale of one to ten do you think this would be?

Love your blog, btw,

Dear Judy,

I was going to blast you, but since you ended with "love your blog" my answer is - go on ahead...boff the twin. 

NO Judy - just kidding. How awful on a scale of one to ten?  Ten. I suppose I could stop here since that absolutely answers your question but your situation is just begging me to continue.

You say because you don't care for your sister-in-law, you don't consider it a betrayal to  sleep with her husband.  Guess what?  It is.

What is wrong with you?  All widows understand that fresh ache, but you're considering fooling around with someone else's husband, you numb nuts!  Grief does not entitle you to seduce your former brother-in-law even if every single freckle is in the exact same place as your late husband.

Twins or no twins there is a huge difference between them.  Can you guess what it is?
Your husband is dead and his twin is alive.

Here's some food (not literally) for thought.  My friend Jade recently performed a cabaret act and her show stopper song was from the 1986 off-Broadway show "Olympus on my Mind."

Jade sang "Wonderful" - the lyrics are about a woman who slept with her husband's twin by mistake (although, he must have known) and she was blown away (literally?) by how far more "wonderful" this man made love.

As a great philosopher never said, but should have: All men are not created equal even if they're hatched from the same egg.

BTW- It's interesting that you assume your husband would understand.  I told myself the same thing when I served M crackers from Jimmy's funeral basket.



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