Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dating for Dummies, I mean Widows

     My mother-in-law, Fanny used to say, “It’s a couple’s world. I feel like a fifth wheel.” The first year I was widowed each time I was seated with couples in a restaurant I was convinced that the waiters winced in pity when they took my order. The husbands always split the bill which I accepted without arguing knowing that Jimmy would never let a woman alone pay.

     Gradually I became more comfortable being the only single and less comfortable not contributing my share. I was waking up from the delusion that being a widow was just a phase. If I was going to continue my life husbandless I needed to be counted as a whole and not a half.

     This is when I began dating. I dated because I didn’t have to. I was okay on my own. We tell our kids that a relationship flourishes when two fully formed, emotionally healthy grown-ups meet. We may not phrase it quite that way. More likely we say: “All this you complete me stuff is crap and you’re my better half is more stupid than sweet.”

     At first I dabble dated and babbled to Jimmy continually in my head as I tried not to twitch if my date announced that, “My wife was a dud in bed” or “That bitch was always up my ass about something.”

     I had half a dozen dates and four of them called to see me again. I told them, “It’s not you. It’s me. I’m not ready.” Of course it was them. Who’s going to argue my readiness?

     Most widows I’ve talked with either don’t date or are obsessed with finding a new husband. I found myself somewhere in between. I liked the excitement of not knowing how the evening would go. Would there be chemistry? A photo can’t measure that. A sexy, raspy phone voice can turn out to be a sore throat from yelling at the game.

     I wanted to practice flirting. My goal was to learn to be seductive, a skill I never needed before.

     I met M at almost the three year mark. We clicked. We laugh and enjoy each other every time we’re together. We became “exclusive”. Now he has a drawer in my house. He also has six inches (of closet space). I’ve heard that’s a big step. Friends snicker.

   The driving force for many widows to date is their need for physical contact, not necessarily sex. Once the emotional connection feels right, though, most of us smoothly transition.

60 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:42 AM

    Hi there!
    I would like to burn a theme at this forum. There is such a thing, called HYIP, or High Yield Investment Program. It reminds of financial piramyde, but in rare cases one may happen to meet a company that really pays up to 2% daily not on invested money, but from real profits.

    For quite a long time, I make money with the help of these programs.
    I'm with no money problems now, but there are heights that must be conquered . I get now up to 2G a day , and I started with funny 500 bucks.
    Right now, I'm very close at catching at last a guaranteed variant to make a sharp rise . Visit my web site to get additional info.

    http://theinvestblog.com [url=http://theinvestblog.com]Online Investment Blog[/url]

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous5:24 AM

    Good day, sun shines!
    There have were times of hardship when I felt unhappy missing knowledge about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright stupid person.
    I have never thought that there weren't any need in big initial investment.
    Now, I feel good, I begin to get real income.
    It's all about how to select a proper companion who uses your funds in a right way - that is incorporate it in real business, and shares the income with me.

    You may ask, if there are such firms? I'm obliged to answer the truth, YES, there are. Please be informed of one of them:
    http://theinvestblog.com [url=http://theinvestblog.com]Online Investment Blog[/url]

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous8:54 AM

    [url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=35][img]http://s003.radikal.ru/i203/1001/17/1008f12c7936.jpg[/img][/url]












    [url=http://tyouhca.xn--geglckt-q2a.de/]clove cigarettes buy [/url]
    buy pink elephant cigarettes buy some candy and cigarettes buy cigarettes over internet
    [url=http://powjxun.wieder-mal.de/sitemap.html]to buy duty free cigarettes [/url]
    where to buy american spirit cigarettes buy marlboro cigarettes online nevada buy american sprit cigarettes
    [url=http://botziho.485.at/]buy cigarettes from indian nation [/url]
    place to buy cigarettes buy cigarettes in salamanca ny alternative cigarettes inc decision and order
    [url=http://vonzura.misslich.de/sitemap.html]age to buy cigarettes in maryland [/url]
    to buy cigarettes buy electric cigarette rolling machine buy single cigarettes
    [url=http://deuaexj.naheliegend.de/]discount cigarettes buy discount marlboro [/url]
    buying cigarettes online taxes buying european cigarettes buying cigarette tobacoo
    [url=http://tioozua.connection24.de/sitemap.html]buy german cigarettes [/url]
    buy 305 cigarettes online can i order cigarettes online carolina cigarettes buy
    [url=http://qzexaua.flackert.de/]where to buy austin cigarettes [/url]
    buy online cigarette buy gitanes cigarettes camel cigarettes cheap cigarettes buy online
    [url=http://botziho.485.at/sitemap.html]buy duty free cigarettes in [/url]
    can i buy cigarettes online where to buy non fsc cigarettes buy cigarette overnight shipping
    [url=http://ubpscsn.pro.ac/sitemap.html]buy marshall mcgearty cigarettes [/url]
    buy geronimo cigarettes buy flavored cigarette buy american sprit cigarettes
    [url=http://vjzvmeu.il.gp/sitemap.html]where do i buy basic cigaretts [/url]
    best buy cigarette 1132 age limit for buying cigarettes where to buy cigarette rollers

    ReplyDelete
  4. AMEN !!! WE are way too young to become dormant. Have you thought yet about how long "this stage" should last before going to the "next level" ? Or should the relationship just STAY the way it is now ....... forever ? But, of course, enjoy every day as if it was the last !!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2:12 AM

    Good day, sun shines!
    There have were times of hardship when I didn't know about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright pessimistic person.
    I have never imagined that there weren't any need in big starting capital.
    Nowadays, I feel good, I begin take up real money.
    It gets down to select a correct partner who uses your funds in a right way - that is incorporate it in real business, and shares the income with me.

    You can ask, if there are such firms? I have to answer the truth, YES, there are. Please be informed of one of them:
    http://theinvestblog.com [url=http://theinvestblog.com]Online Investment Blog[/url]

    ReplyDelete
  6. lisa maddox12:11 AM

    My husband died five months ago after a plane accident. I'm still just trying to get through the day, but I am glad to find women who are surviving and thriving. Thanks for posting.
    http://www.rememberinggeorge.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous1:58 AM

    Hey


    You will not believe what I just found! [url=http://www.foolioo.com]Foolioo.com[/url] makes [url=http://www.foolioo.com]free[/url] custom website for free. Yep! That's right, FREE!
    Never imagined it'd be so easy to get a free website and I really had to tell you guys.



    So if you're looking for a free website, give these guys a try.



    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous8:26 PM

    I'm sure dating is hard but first you have to meet the men. How did you meet 12 men, from E-harmony or such? They have it so easy, there are so many single women to every man. Ughhhh, sounds so awkward. How would you feel if this relationshop fizzled out? I am just passing the 2 year mark and figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life. Not having someone meaningful to share the details and moments of our lives is so un natural. I had a wonderful marriage and if I meet someone half as special I would be satisfied. A xerox copy is never as clear but the printed duplicate is usually acceptable to me. I don't think marriage is necessary, but as you said about your emotional transition, marriage might flow smoothly for most as well.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous4:58 PM

    ha, I am going to try out my thought, your post get me some good ideas, it's really amazing, thanks.

    - Norman

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous12:14 PM

    I love poorwidowme.blogspot.com! Here I always find a lot of helpful information for myself. Thanks you for your work.
    Webmaster of http://loveepicentre.com and http://movieszone.eu
    Best regards

    ReplyDelete
  11. Met a widow 8 mos ago, was very nice, helped her ect.....became close then one day
    Told me too busy relationship....

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think I was a transition person...someone talk to , be tour guide back ot world,get physical warmth....then not needed, other people had same experience
    Not happy endings just sort of used....

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous6:56 AM

    Hey there! I could have sworn I've been to this website before but after checking through some of the post I realized it's new to me.
    Nonetheless, I'm definitely happy I found it and I'll
    be bookmarking and checking back often!
    Take a look at my web blog ... cheap cigarettes

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous5:30 PM

    This article will help the internet users for setting up new webpage
    or even a weblog from start to end.
    My web page mac baren

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous12:37 AM

    Hi there would you mind stating which blog platform you're working with? I'm planning to start my own blog in the near
    future but I'm having a tough time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I'm looking
    for something unique. P.S Apologies for being
    off-topic but I had to ask!
    Here is my blog post ... Villa bodrum

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous2:37 AM

    Thank you for every other informative website. The place else may
    I get that type of information written in such a perfect way?
    I've a challenge that I am simply now operating on, and I've been on the
    look out for such info.
    Here is my website - Immobilien Alanya

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous3:17 AM

    Hey there, You've done a fantastic job. I'll certainly digg it and personally recommend to my friends.
    I'm confident they'll be benefited from this web site.
    Also visit my web page - villas in turkey

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous5:03 AM

    When I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked
    on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a
    comment is added I get 4 emails with the same comment.
    Perhaps there is a way you can remove me from
    that service? Cheers!
    Also visit my website ; Cheap property in Bodrum

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous8:25 AM

    I have read so many articles on the topic
    of the blogger lovers but this piece of writing is genuinely a nice paragraph, keep it up.
    Here is my site ... boligityrkia.net

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous11:10 PM

    I have been browsing online more than 3 hours today, yet I
    never found any interesting article like yours.
    It's pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be a lot more useful than ever before.
    Also visit my website lägenheter i alanya till salu

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous7:22 AM

    I don't even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I do not know who you are but certainly you're going
    to a famous blogger if you aren't already ;) Cheers!
    Here is my web blog - diablo 3 wizard guide

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous12:08 PM

    I do believe all the ideas you've presented in your post. They are very convincing and will certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are very quick for starters. May just you please extend them a bit from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.
    My web site - how to get rid of man boobs

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous1:24 PM

    I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post's to be precisely what I'm looking
    for. Does one offer guest writers to write content available for you?
    I wouldn't mind writing a post or elaborating on a lot of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome weblog!
    My site - amber leaf

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous3:15 PM

    You ought to take part in a contest for one of the best blogs on the net.
    I'm going to highly recommend this blog!
    Also visit my web blog : amphora tobacco

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous10:23 PM

    If you would like to get a good deal from this post then you have to apply these strategies
    to your won blog.
    My page :: old holborn blu

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous9:13 PM

    Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers?

    I'm kinda paranoid about losing everything I've worked hard on.
    Any suggestions?
    Also visit my blog : funnysayings.us

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous9:51 PM

    Appreciate the recommendation. Let me try it out.
    Also visit my website get rid of acne fast

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous7:26 AM

    Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the pictures on
    this blog loading? I'm trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it's the
    blog. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
    Feel free to visit my web site ... junakigroups.com

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous7:39 AM

    Hey! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin
    for my comment form? I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having trouble finding one?
    Thanks a lot!
    Visit my website http://creativewebsite.in

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous3:36 PM

    Their wonderful colorways generally make folks dazzling.

    In accordance to investigation, all of the wearers are glad with designer Nike AirMax Skyline.

    Prior to purchasing a residence, establish some variables.
    Listed here comes our matter: What sets Nike footwear aside
    from competition? http://www.airmaxcheapest.co.

    uk/

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous4:59 PM

    In this article comes our subject matter: What sets Nike footwear aside
    from levels of competition? When you order this shoe, apart from
    the consolation, you will look spectacular. So if you are searching for Nike footwear, you would
    not have to glimpse for them far too challenging. You can
    also fork out more consideration to the lower price on-line information.

    http://www.airmax90s2013.co.uk
    My site: black nike air max 90

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous2:08 PM

    Hi there! I know this is kind of off topic but
    I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site?

    I'm getting tired of Wordpress because I've had issues with hackers and I'm looking at options for another platform. I would be great if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

    Also visit my website; michael kors watches

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous1:20 PM

    Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist
    with SEO? I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not seeing
    very good results. If you know of any please share.
    Appreciate it!

    My webpage: domain hosting

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous5:19 AM

    I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest
    but your sites really nice, keep it up! I'll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back in the future. Many thanks

    My webpage ... ロレックスコピー

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous6:04 PM

    Awesome! Its genuinely amazing paragraph, I have got much clear idea concerning from this piece of writing.


    Take a look at my weblog ... ロレックスレプリカ

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anonymous6:22 PM

    You made some decent points there. I checked on the internet for
    additional information about the issue and found most people will go
    along with your views on this website.

    Also visit my web page - 激安プラダ バッグ

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous8:37 PM

    Hello Dear, are you truly visiting this site on a regular basis,
    if so then you will definitely get nice experience.


    Visit my web-site ロレックスコピー

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous9:57 PM

    Thanks for the auspicious writeup. It in truth was once a
    enjoyment account it. Look complex to more introduced agreeable from you!
    However, how could we communicate?

    Take a look at my web-site :: 激安プラダ バッグ

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous10:58 AM

    Great post. I used to be checking constantly this weblog and I am inspired!
    Extremely helpful information specifically the remaining section
    :) I deal with such information a lot. I was
    seeking this certain information for a very lengthy time.
    Thanks and good luck.

    my website - kredit mit schufa Sofort

    ReplyDelete
  40. Anonymous4:49 PM

    Wonderful blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News. Do you have
    any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Thank you

    Feel free to visit my web page ... just click the next web page

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonymous10:50 AM

    Hello, i think that i saw you visited my website thus i came to “return the favor”.

    I am attempting to find things to improve my web site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!
    !

    Feel free to visit my site - Replica Rolex Watches

    ReplyDelete
  42. Anonymous11:36 AM

    What a information of un-ambiguity and preserveness
    of precious familiarity concerning unexpected emotions.

    Here is my website ミュウミュウ

    ReplyDelete
  43. Anonymous2:17 AM

    Asking questions are actually good thing if
    you are not understanding something completely, but this article gives
    fastidious understanding yet.

    My blog ... ミュウミュウ

    ReplyDelete
  44. Anonymous2:23 AM

    I'm really loving the theme/design of your blog. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility problems? A small number of my blog readers have complained about my blog not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera. Do you have any ideas to help fix this issue?

    Also visit my webpage ... chloe 財布

    ReplyDelete
  45. Anonymous4:55 AM

    Right now it sounds like BlogEngine is the preferred blogging platform available right now.
    (from what I've read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

    My web site: gracenfriends.com

    ReplyDelete
  46. Anonymous4:52 PM

    I enjoy what you guys are up too. This kind of clever work and reporting!
    Keep up the fantastic works guys I've incorporated you guys to my own blogroll.

    Take a look at my page ... ミュウミュウ

    ReplyDelete
  47. Anonymous10:12 AM

    For latest information you have to visit world-wide-web and on world-wide-web I found this website as a best web page for hottest updates.


    my blog: クリスチャンルブタン

    ReplyDelete
  48. Anonymous6:05 AM

    Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on sites
    I stumbleupon every day. It's always interesting to read through content from other writers and use a little something from their websites.

    my homepage ... chloe 財布

    ReplyDelete
  49. Anonymous3:23 PM

    After I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox
    and from now on every time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the exact same
    comment. Is there a way you can remove me from that service?

    Thank you!

    My homepage www.wrestlingfanssuck.com

    ReplyDelete
  50. Anonymous7:26 PM

    Magnificent goods from you, man. I've remember your stuff prior to and you're simply too great.
    I actually like what you have acquired here, certainly like
    what you're stating and the way in which in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you continue to care for to keep it sensible. I can't wait to
    learn far more from you. That is really a tremendous website.



    Review my web blog :: レイバン

    ReplyDelete
  51. Anonymous5:22 AM

    Valuable information. Fortunate me I discovered your site by chance, and I'm shocked why this twist of fate did not took place in advance! I bookmarked it.

    Look into my webpage - cushycottage.blogspot.fr

    ReplyDelete
  52. Anonymous1:32 AM

    Pretty! This has been a really wonderful post. Thank you for providing this info.


    Also visit my homepage - オークリー サングラス

    ReplyDelete
  53. Anonymous5:31 AM

    These are genuinely wonderful ideas in regarding blogging.
    You have touched some fastidious points here. Any way keep up
    wrinting.

    Visit my web-site :: monster ヘッドホン

    ReplyDelete
  54. Anonymous8:21 AM

    Wow, marvelous blog format! How lengthy have you ever been
    running a blog for? you make blogging glance easy.

    The total look of your website is great, as smartly as the content material!


    Also visit my web blog :: アバクロンビーフィッチデニム

    ReplyDelete
  55. Anonymous9:38 AM

    For their part, Epson and HP slashed stickers by sandstone prices.
    Spain now has only one national leftwing newspaper, while four titles occupy the political right.
    Why do the images in the album, glue wrapping paper onto the desired
    fabric or paper called laminated object manufacturing LOM.
    The best thing we can do now is say 'today wasn't important' and motivate the players to play better.

    My blog Buy stickers

    ReplyDelete
  56. Anonymous2:37 PM

    I visited many web sites however the audio feature for audio songs
    current at this web page is truly superb.

    my site ... レイバンサングラス

    ReplyDelete
  57. Anonymous3:34 PM

    I know this if off topic but I'm looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is needed to get set up? I'm assuming having a blog like yours would cost
    a pretty penny? I'm not very web savvy so I'm not 100% sure.
    Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you

    My page - プラダ

    ReplyDelete
  58. Anonymous4:54 PM

    Do you have a spam problem on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was curious
    about your situation; many of us have developed
    some nice procedures and we are looking to trade solutions
    with other folks, be sure to shoot me an email if interested.


    Also visit my page :: モンスター ヘッドホン

    ReplyDelete
  59. Anonymous9:22 AM

    propecia online cheap generic propecia online - propecia side effects cure

    ReplyDelete
  60. Anonymous2:38 AM

    Family game night: Xboх 360 with Кinect or
    Wii? The Ipad will treat your
    camera aѕ а mаss stoгage disk
    ωhich allows you to еnable and dіsablе сall
    fοrwaгding. 29" But there are some critics who say it's a much more ultimate experience. You can rename it by changing the name in the status bar.

    ReplyDelete