I've spent all morning waiting for the garbage truck. Yesterday I cleaned house - literally. I threw away old stuff to make room for new stuff.
It felt great, not sad, to toss boxes originally from Jimmy's office filled with letterhead and envelopes and correspondance from 2002. A year ago I would have kept them because there were a few notations here and there in his handwriting.
I got rid of two framed prints that we bought three houses ago in Fortunoffs. I miss Fortunoffs. Now where can I go to buy the new stuff?
Those prints are hanging on the wall behind us in family photos. Our family is broken and the broken frames are sitting on the curb. I guess I should be grateful that we're not sitting on the curb.
Tony barked when the garbage picker guy came by at 8 AM. Even he took a pass on the Mama Zebra nuzzling baby Zebra print. I figured maybe it clashed with his color scheme, but then I realized...black & white. Should I question Jimmys' and my taste?
An hour ago I called the Sanitation Department to check if the pick up schedule was the same...he said it was but it was slow because it was a heavy day. I told him I, too, was feeling a bit bloated. The guy didn't laugh. He hung up.
After the holidays lots of curbs are overloaded, I guess. January brings old treasures newly classified as junk. Lives evolve and so do we.
My number one resolution for 2010 is to continue to clean out the cobwebs while I hold on to the memories.
P.S. The garbage truck just came.
Just in time for me to run out and give the men
a few sheckles and make my one 'clock hair appointment.
Life is good. Happy New Year, my friends...
Perfect - "clean out the cobwebs while I hold on to the memories". I will try to do that when I return to MN this spring. Thanks for this one!
ReplyDeleteIt's that time of year. I spent this past weekend going through the past 16 months of papers, receipts, pay stubs, etc. I tend to throw everything away and keep only the necessities. I found myself holding onto my husband's pay stubs...over a year's worth. So, I took a big step and threw out all but his very last one, which by the way, deposited to our checking account four days after he died. The irony, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteLast year I was too overwhelmed to do my annual purging. This year I felt the need to get organized again. It's actually a weird response. I feel like I need to have everything in order for my mother and kids should I die unexpectedly. Losing a spouse makes you think about things so differently!
I enjoy your blog very much. Thank you.
Wow, that is amazing. We never realize how much our lives change after an event like this until it happens because who wants to contemplate what it'd be like without X or Y in the equation?
ReplyDeleteI've been researching the topic of the lives of widows all morning, and I found an article that I thought you might enjoy. It's by a woman named Carol Lin, and she lost her husband a few years bad to cancer. Here's an excerpt:
In the last year [since my husband's death], I’d struggled to evolve from uncoupled and devastated to independent and..well…okay. So, an introduction to an eligible man smelled of someone’s judgment of my hard won state of mind. In my current transitional state of mind, I’m thinking all those girlfriends who wanted to introduce me to a nice man; were they saying that I could never find happiness if I was alone? Would it always take a man to make me complete? If that’s the case, then my memories of loving Will would be my Berlin Wall standing between me and any future happiness. That left me feeling hopeless. I would always love Will. I knew that much. Then again, what if no one ever mentioned dating to me. Instead of feeling like a liberated woman, would I, instead, feel washed up, unattractive and old?"
I thought this brought up a lot of points that you did, especially that part about being grateful that it was the old life on the curb and not you. Great article! O, and if you want to read the rest of Carol's piece-I think she actually has a couple columns on the site, here's the link: http://www.sharewik.com/blogs/86989
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