Poor Widow Me in a Nutshell

After dating for four years, we finally got married at the ripe old age of 22.  My son, Doug, now a bachelor at 30, teased my husband since he was little,


"Dad, you got wrapped up early" he'd say.


It felt so natural for us.  I remember being beside myself with excitement when the year turned to 1972. 


"This is the year we'll be husband and wife!" I'd gush often and loud.


Jimmy would respond with something sweet like, 


"What did you say?  I wasn't listening." 


He was excited.  He just had a different way of showing it.  You see, men in touch with their sensitive side hadn't been invented yet. 


Poor Jimmy went from his Mom to me without a break.  In her corner, was homemade meatballs and lasagna and in mine, cold cereal.  The Cornflakes came with a side of sex, though.  Perhaps, that was the tipping point...


Before I could say old married couple, April 2006 rolled around and Jimmy got sick and died leaving me to figure out how to live with out him.  Somehow, I weathered through and I did.  Within three years my 'new normal' felt somewhat normal. 


Now, almost five years later and a one year long, relationship behind me I am testing the dating waters again.  I keep wondering if a kiss with a new guy can replicate how I felt when I kissed Jimmy.  Some say that at my stage of the game, the only way to that whirly, wonderful, spinning place is to down four large glasses of Cabernet. 


I don't believe that, although I'm certainly not going to give up drinking, just in case.  


Comments are appreciated...