Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Mean Jean's Thoughts on Widowers

It seems like the entire Tri-state area is asking me if I have a boyfriend." I said.

Mean Jean, my bereavement shrink responds with a snort and then she shakes her head and she says,

“If you were a man you’d be remarried already or certainly on your way.”

“I know” I answered. “On average men remarry at two years and women at five.”

“Do you know why that is?” she asked


“Because men are babies.” Mean Jean gave me that huge grin where she shows all of her teeth. I made a mental note to make a dentist appointment.

I’ve known her for years now so I’m almost positive that her bark is bigger than her bite.  I keep this in mind as I try out some sarcasm on her.

“Men are babies you say? Is that professionally speaking?”

“Actually, yes it is. I’ve been in the bereavement racket for 25 years now.

When I retire I’m going to write a book. I think I’ll call it,

Don’t Flatter Yourselves Ladies…Men just can’t be Alone."


  1. Robert Brown9:30 PM

    I'm not big on statistics. I did fine alone. Raised my children alone, and they were young, without any help from family. I took 8 years to remarry and not because I needed to, because I wanted to.

    When me make assumptions, we eliminate some of the possibilities.

  2. Anonymous11:08 PM

    I like the quote and it's very true...but I was just quoting my shrink Mean Jean who was quoting statistics...and on her own she called men babies...Don't be such a baby, Robert. hahahahahaha

  3. No, men are not babies, we just like being treated like babies. So when we find a woman who is willing to baby us, what else is there to do?

  4. Anonymous3:34 PM

    Is this the Bob from our e-mails today? You are so right. hahhaha

  5. Robert Berry4:53 PM

    I realize this topic is dated and, perhaps, this will fall on deaf ears. But I wonder if there isn't something else at play here as well. I've heard similar opinions before but they seem very dualistic: women good, men bad. From my perspective (and I have seen this in several other cases as well), women are much better at staying connected. They often have strong bonds with their GFs and have a ready-made support network available if/when their spouse dies. Men, on the other hand, don't take time out of their day-to-day lives to stay in contact with buddies. Keep in mind this is just one point of view. In my case, over 28 years of marriage, almost all of my social interactions were handled by my wife. We did things with other couples but as I look back at it now, these couples were all my wife's friends (female or male) and their spouses. I really lost what one might call "friends of my own". If a guy goes through many years like this, his networking and friend-making skills can become quite rusty. Perhaps this is another factor which could contribute to men getting married sooner. Food for thought.
    I know this is all generalizations but I hope this perspective adds to the discussion. As for me, I think I'll just get a puppy;o)