Monday, December 12, 2011

A Psychic in the Family

Several weeks ago, I moseyed into a neighborhood-clothing store for their promotional wine, cheese, fruit and cookies.  Who can resist a snack?   And, who doesn’t need a new-something-something?
God knows how many outfits I ruined trying them on with sticky fingers, (not the shoplifting reference) –  The owners had not thought this through. Retail is tough enough without adding on the potential for chocolate stains on garments that go over your head.  I felt guilty so I bought two tops.  Naturally, not the ones I tried on.  They were a mess!
Next to the dressing room, I noticed a sign up sheet to have your palm read, tarot cards, head scratched – you name it.  I peeked in the room. Two young girls who looked vaguely familiar – they probably went to high school with my kids.  They may have been part of the ‘study group’ who came over to our house while Jimmy and I were away, got drunk and threw up all over the carpet.  Now, they wore swami scarves and called themselves “Psychic Samantha” and “Telepathic Tiffany.”
I couldn’t resist. “Psychic Samantha” was adorable.  I sat opposite her and she began “Do you want your palm read or the tarot cards?” I chose the cards because I hadn’t washed my hands yet.
She looked deep into my eyes and all of a sudden, she was all knowing. She was no longer an entitled kid who got a brand new Mustang for graduation even though her grade point average was the speed limit.
“Do you want to know everything, good and bad?” she asked me in a creepy voice.
“Sure” I answered even though I wasn’t sure I was sure.
“You really must see a doctor.  Something is going on with you that needs immediate attention. I’m not kidding” she said.
I didn’t think she was kidding. Why would she kid about that, but none the less, she certainly had my attention.
“It’s probably something you can fix with medication, but I see you going from doctor to doctor.  I see it being a problem with your bones.  I feel it in my bones. She giggled. Check it out, okay? Mrs. Scibelli.”
“Sammy?  Is that you?” I thought it was you, but with the scarf and all…” I said.
We chatted a bit and I told her that my son Doug was still single, gave her his e-mail address and I briefly fantasized that Doug would marry her and at the wedding I would give a toast saying that my new daughter-in-law saved my life.  If not for her wise warning, I would be a pile of bones by now.
So, I immediately had a mammogram, a pap smear, a colonoscopy and a bone density test. Bingo!  All things clear but the bone density.  Not major, but Sammy nailed it with a result of BMD (bone mineral density) that is Osteopenia which is in between normal and Osteoporosis.
I just have to take vitamin D (that’s not really “medication”) and come back two years. The doctor could have checked off one year, so it’s really not anything.  But, somehow that gives Sammy even more credibility – she picked up something sorta kinda festering.  And I did go “from doctor to doctor” although, in truth I went to all these doctors because she pushed my panic button.
Oh, are Doug and Sammy dating?  Not yet, but doesn’t Samantha Scibelli have a nice ring to it?  And, how cool would it be to have a psychic in the family?  It could happen.  I think I feel it in my bones.