I had exactly three dates before Jimmy and I began to “go steady.” Each one was under fifteen years old. No one was driving me into a secluded grassy area to have his way with me and it was unlikely that a pimply, goofy teen was going to sprinkle my milkshake with Ruffies or Special K. I doubt they would have known what to do with me, anyway.
These days I’m approached on the Facebook private message board. Here’s the latest.
“Hi Hot Mama – let’s get to know each other.
Ever been to Ontario? Come and visit.”
Johnny the Junk
Since it is the social network I figure I should be social. I respond:
Hi Johnny the Junk,
What a cute name! Are you in the recycling business?
Oh, about the ‘Hot Mama’ I was a hot mama, but I’m
way past menopause now. I used to keep my windows
open in January. It’s a miracle my husband didn’t die
About visiting… great idea! Tomorrow I’ll load up the
truck with my 7 grandbabies, pack a duffle bag and zip
up to Ontario to spend a few weeks.
P.S. You’re not a lunatic, are you? Just checking.